How do we talk about power… without shame?
Especially in the moments when it shows up in our closest relationships.
I’ve been sitting with a question lately that deserves more space in all our relationships—especially the ones that matter most:
How do we talk about power… without shame?
Power shows up in every relationship. Sometimes it’s quiet—like one person always choosing the restaurant. Other times it’s loud—like control dynamics around parenting, money, or communication styles that leave both people feeling unheard. These moments often reflect deeper relationship power dynamics and unspoken patterns shaped by upbringing, culture, and unhealed wounds.
This isn’t just something that shows up in our romantic partnerships. It happens in friendships, families, workplaces, and yes—even in healing spaces where we say we’re here to connect.
And let’s be honest: in many of our cultures, naming power directly—without shame or blame—is not something we’ve been encouraged or equipped to do. Most of us haven’t been taught how to talk about power in relationships with honesty, compassion, and care.
This conversation was sparked by reflections between myself and MHC's founder, Ateeka. She’s been supporting couples and individuals through these exact dynamics for years, and one thing she said really stayed with me:
“You can’t resolve power struggles at the surface. You have to create safety first.”
That truth hit home—not just as someone who supports healing work behind the scenes, but as a person in relationship. Like you, I’m always learning how to show up better.
So today, I’m not here with a 5-step plan. I’m here with a few invitations:
Where do power dynamics show up in your relationships—even subtly?
What would it take to name them without shame?
And what kind of care or emotional safety in relationships would help you talk about them at all?
You don’t have to answer right now. Just take a breath. Feel into what resonates. If it helps, journal it out. Talk it out with someone you trust. Or come back to it later—there’s no rush.
If you're like many of the people we support at MindFull Healing Collective—navigating parenting, partnerships, past trauma, or just the exhaustion of trying to communicate clearly in a culture that doesn’t always model how—you’re not alone.
What Ateeka reminds me again and again is that we’re not meant to do this alone. And the real work of healing doesn’t start with being perfect—it starts with being present.
When we pause to examine how we use power (or how it uses us), we create new possibilities for connection. When we make safety—not strategy—the starting place, something shifts. That’s where repair becomes possible. That’s where a new kind of relationship can begin.
If you’re curious about how we can support you or your relationship in this kind of work—whether through trauma-informed couples counseling, a safe conversations® workshop, or simply being witnessed with care—we invite you to explore our services:
→ mindfullhealingcollective.com/couples
Whether you’re currently in therapy or simply seeking tools to improve connection in your life, this space is for you.
With care,
India Tizol (on behalf of the MHC team)
